Experiences of all kinds come and go. Thoughts come & go, Feelings come & go, & Physical projections come & go. With this being said, on the day of writing this I found myself wanting to learn my lesson for the cycle I find myself in. I am in a place where I am looking to move out the house in the next couple months with my best friend, I am starting an online business, I am focusing on maintaining a healthy body, clear mind, & clear emotional field; nurturing the friendships that actively support my well being, continue with my college classes, & overall expand my knowledge on subjects I find interesting.
With everything I got going on, I know one tendency I have been diminishing over time is trying to look for a partner or soulmate that I have desired for months now truly. With this being said I personally look at people that we meet and find attraction to, to be people who are there to teach us a lesson & elevate our state of consciousness. Recently I met this girl at a cafe that insight a grand amount of attraction to me because on the surface she truly beat out every other girl I had interacted with up until that point. When we first met we talked for 20 minutes & both of us agreed that we were intriguing people to each other. The clarity of truth has shown me that neither one of us are ready for a relationship & within our dynamic she is the runner & I am the chaser. There is subconscious triggers that I am sure both of us experienced within the situation that caused both of us to feel, think, & act as we both have. For me in the process of disconnecting from the relationship & having plenty of my subconscious attention focused on her I was finding myself indulging in short term satisfactory experiences to get away from the satisfaction I wanted from her.
Going back to all of the things that I have in my life already I want to end this cycle of focusing my attention so much on another person & really focus my attention inwards towards myself & cultivate my own energy, my own projects, & complete the cycles I am already in so I can make space for new beginnings in areas of my life that I desire to see grow & expand in a healthy way.
Much of the attraction to her I'm sure is because we are soulmates on some level & we agreed before coming into this life that we both would interact with each other for soul growth reasons. I'm also sure that from a more human standpoint my childhood trauma & abandonment challenges surfaced where I would have to chase or give up parts of myself & what I want in order to receive what it is that I desire. Truly in an empowered state me giving to myself, cultivating my own energy, focusing on myself & what it is that I am growing within my own life will attract a partner, soulmate, &/or people into my life that are supportive of my growth directly or indirectly.
Now with her in a sense "running" from me & our connection I realize that it is important for me to let go of her, physically, mentally, & emotionally, so I allow for there to be a void & allow for something new and more in alignment with myself to fill that void. Allowing for there to be a void also allows for me to experience my attachment challenges, heal aspects of myself, & raise my vibration in a healthy & steady way. Allowing for myself to raise my vibration also really supports the opening of my heart space more & allowing for the highest vibration of creation to flow through me & create my highest desired reality.
I have been typing about me experiencing this cycle of my attention going towards a girl I'm interested in that I know I want to let go of on all levels, but this goes for anything else within your life that is attracting your attention away from the things you are currently invested in & growing. Drugs, money, sex, self created "problems", video games, porn, or anything that keeps you stuck in a state of being or consciousness & doesn't allow for you to bring new things into your life because you are holding onto past parts of yourself that do not fit the mold of the new being you are transforming into. You choosing to let go of the external things that no longer serve you in your evolution of self & the internal thought patterns & habits that don't serve your evolution of self is way of truly showing love to yourself. You are refusing to lower your vibration because only allow yourself to do so, but also you are allowing yourself to fall into the trust of love & the fact that letting go of what no longer serves you will only be replaced by something that serves your higher being ever more so.
I believe this has brought love, light, & clarity to you & may you have a blessed day you beautiful soul :)